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However, they’ll seldom spontaneously show interest in a sincere or sustained way. Like the blatant narcissist, they may feign interest in what their wives want. Clinical Covert Narcissist husbands are heavily passive-aggressive. 7 Essential Traits of a Clinical Covert Narcissist Husband He’ll secretly take away your power while denying he’s doing that. He wants you to “get help” for your lack of enthusiasm for being sexual with him but takes no responsibility for playing a role. Your “disinterest” in “pleasing him sexually” is a constant insult he must endure. He’ll then resent you for your lack of sexual interest, despite showing no real interest himself. Wives of covert narcissist husbands often end up feeling “done to” before these same wives gradually withdraw sexually. He will become passive, but deeply resentful if you don’t show him your admiration. Instead of a partner who is anxious to get away and have private sexual time together, he acts lackluster. While initially, the covert narcissist husband will be an ardent lover who is responsive and eager to please, that soon fades once the relationship becomes established. Later making love will end up feeling like a “favor” he’s doing to you and for you. The wife will talk about being “love bombed” by a man she can’t believe is so perfect for her and eager to please. But when does feeling good about yourself spill over to covert narcissism? Sex and the covert narcissist husbandĬovert narcissist husbands are emotionally disengaged and passionless toward any perceived demand, including the “demand” to love. Many of the men we see have concrete reasons to be proud of their achievements and project an air of confidence.
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we work with extraordinarily successful couples. He expects people to tell him he’s special, rather than having to toot his own horn.Īt Couples Therapy Inc. But unlike the open narcissist, the covert narcissist husband is more subtle and indirect in displaying his superiority. The extroverted narcissist can often be blatantly in your face about their giftedness. Nevertheless, the behavior leaves their spouses feeling off-balanced or inadequate.Īll narcissists demonstrate confidence and superior bearing. These marriages are often long-term because despite the wives feeling drained and unhappy, they simply can’t articulate what’s wrong.Ĭloset narcissist husbands are often prickly pears, hyper-sensitive, and perhaps less keenly aware of their need to dominate by manipulating others. These men are often shells or what might be called “empty suits” who look to other people to fill their sense of selves. This blatant and overt narcissism isn’t the only expression of this personality disorder.Īnother form of narcissism is closet narcissism, which is essentially covert in its expression. It’s a mistake to think that all narcissism is characterized by a larger-than-life expansive grandiosity. In a previous post, we’ve discussed the problem of narcissistic personality disorders. His defensiveness and his lack of genuine interest in you will prevail. They care about what other people think of them and they appear so helpful, and yet the Covert Narcissist is just a less happy and more complicated version of the NPD. We’ll talk about why the covert narcissist is so hard to recognize because they appear so “nice” and “humble” and even anxious to please. What is a Covert Narcissist Husband? In this post, I’ll describe both the 7 traits of a covert narcissist as well as subtypes and how these traits show up in marriage.